Word got out last week that the creative team behind ABC’s marvelous (get it) Agent Carter are working on a new series based on the “mythology” of Disney theme parks. There are dozens and dozens of possibilities for stories rooted in the mythology of Disney’s 12 worldwide theme parks, and it got our minds a-churnin’ and suddenly – bingo! A ton of ideas, ready for exploitation. Without further ado, here are our top 5 Disney television show ideas, available free of charge to ABC.

So You Think You’re A Disney Princess?

Format: Half-hour reality competition

Pitch: Disney’s forgotten leading ladies vie for a spot in the official Princess pantheon, with a lucrative merchandise deal at stake. Watch as Esmeralda, Megara, Eilonwy, Alice, Atta and more complete challenges to prove worthy of new meet-n-greet slots all their own at Disneyland and Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. Prize winnings will include a new Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique package named after them.

Disney Celebrity Boxing

Format: Half-hour “sports” exhibition

Pitch: Watch famous Disney characters duke it out in the ring for no reason whatsoever, just like the discontinued Fox series that showed Tonya Harding throwing punches. Gaston is expected to win season 1’s tournament, with Lefou running a scripted boxing betting ring as a subplot.

Star Tours Home Shopping Network

Format: 24-hour shopping channel

Pitch: Star Tours safety spokesdroid, Aly San-San (voiced by Allison Janney) hawks cheap goods from around the galaxy to viewers. You can bet it will be very popular with the falling-asleep-with-the-TV-on demographic.

Vista Way

Format: Hour long soap dramedy

Pitch: Chronicling the lives of six new Walt Disney World College Program Cast Members, Vista Way finds drama in the partying, fangirling and pin trading that goes on unchecked amongst the exuberant interns living in the magic.

Villain’s Fight Club

Format: Hour-long drama

Pitch: Bored with their mundane lives of performing in theme park parades and shows all day, the Disney villains miss the thrill of the chase. Hades kicks things off with a roll of the dice, deciding which villains will face off in the basement of Cinderella Castle to feel alive. In this reboot of the classic novel and film, Flynn Rider assumes the Ed Norton role.

 

Okay Disney, I’ll be waiting by the phone.

 

Presented by Betting in Canada.